LAW HUMOR AND LAWYER JOKES
June 12, 2018
Law humor and lawyer jokes are always welcome at Messina Law Firm, if you have a “G” rated one, please leave it in the comments, we’ll be happy to include it.
SAID IN THE COURTROOM
The following things were actually said by people in courtrooms across the country:
Q: Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?
A: No. I said he was shot in the lumbar region.
Q: Are you married?
A: No. I’m divorced.
Q: And what did your husband do before you divorced him?
A: A lot of things I didn’t know about.
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male or a female?
Another set of funnies. When police asked people who had been involved in car wrecks to describe what happened, their descriptions often made it clear that the car wrecks were mysteriously unavoidable. Hence, some actual examples from police files:
“Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I didn’t have.”
“The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.”
“I thought my window was down but found it was up when I put my head through it.”
“I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.”
“A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s face.”
“A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.”
“The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.”
“I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.”
“The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in the bush with just his rear end showing.”
“In my attempt to kill a fly I drove into a telephone pole.”
EVEN MORE CAR CRASHES
“I thought I could squeeze between two trucks when my car became squashed.”
“I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision. I did not see the other car.”
“I had been driving my car for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had the accident.”
“The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into another vehicle.”
“The other car attempted to cut in front of me so I, with my right front bumper, removed his left rear tail light.”
“I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way.”
Wow. “I was backing my car out of the driveway in the usual manner when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several times before.”
EVEN MORE LAW HUMOR AND LAWYER JOKES…MEMES
“I was taking my canary to the hospital. It got loose in the car and flew out the window. The next thing I saw was his rear end and there was a crash.”
“I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.”
“As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.”
“To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.”
“My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.”
“An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished.”
“I told the police that I was not injured but on removing my hat I found that I had fractured my skull.”
“I was sure that old fellow would never make it to the other side of the roadway when I struck him.”
“When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.”
“The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go so I ran over him.”
ACT NOW TO PROTECT YOUR RIGHTS
Without question, your Dallas car wreck case is subject to the statute of limitations. Almost certainly, if you don’t act now you may lose your right to compensation for the personal injury you have sustained. Therefore, contact Dallas car wreck lawyer Joey Messina at our Dallas law firm as soon as possible.
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